


now im lying awake

by Crykea



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Communication, F/M, Forgiveness, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Oh my god just So Soft
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-30
Updated: 2019-05-30
Packaged: 2020-03-29 22:35:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,036
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19029328
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Crykea/pseuds/Crykea
Summary: Jon can’t hurt himself anymore. He knows. He’s tried.





	now im lying awake

**Author's Note:**

> im predictable and thats all i have to say
> 
> I wrote this in 3 hours on a bus and didnt edit it.

It had been a recent development, him and Georgie. It had taken him a while after waking up to come back to her, and it had taken a while after that for her to forgive him. She was there for him for six months while he was unconscious after all. She was there for him when he woke up and then she  _ didn’t hear from him.  _ Of course, with Jon, it would have never been enough that he went about his plan without telling her-- a plan which involved mannequin monsters and  _ literal explosions _ and resulted in  _ more than one death _ , she might add-- No, he had to wake up and immediately start avoiding her too.

 

She knew he had a lot going on, most of which she’d learned second hand through Melanie, but it wouldn’t hurt to drop a text every once in a while would it? It couldn’t hurt to say hello when he ran into her at the grocery store instead of turning tail and speeding away in the opposite direction. It was like he’d learned nothing. His plan that ended him up in the hospital showed that he was still just as reckless so she didn’t know why she would bother. Even still, she couldn’t help but worry.

 

So when one Jonathan Sims showed up at her doorstep in someone else’s leather jacket and an apologetic look on his face, she slammed the door on him before he could even say anything. Trying not to think about him, she went about her day as normal until she could put off leaving her flat no longer. She had a doctor’s appointment to go to and if she didn’t get in her car she was going to be far too late to be excusable. When she opened her door, however, Jon was still there, sitting against the wall. He perked up when he saw her and she couldn’t help but notice that his eyes were golden instead of cool black like before.

 

“Right. Jonathan, why are you here.”

 

“I came to...apologize.”

 

“We both know you have no idea how to apologize so can we just get it over with, say it's fine, and go back to ignoring each other.” She snapped, making him flinch back slightly.

 

“I’ve...had a bit of practice on that front in recent months.”

 

“That’s fantastic for you. Not that I’d know it with how little I’d seen you, but, huh! That must’ve just been a coincidence.”

 

“Georgie…”

 

“ _ No,  _ Jon. You died. I stayed at your bedside near constantly for  _ six months _ and then you decided you wanted nothing to do with me. Again. It’s not my place to force you to come back to me, but I’d rather you just let me move on if it’s going to be like that.” The heat in her voice was near freezing, “Now if you’ll excuse me, I have an appointment to get to.” 

 

Without another word, she brushed past him, pulling her coat close to her as she walked. The drive there was tense. She didn’t even put on the radio when she sat down, and she was unfairly cold to her doctor, for which she apologized after the third time snapping at her. She made a point afterwards of staying for a while at a little coffee shop near her work, nursing an overpriced black coffee that she could’ve just made at home.

 

He was still at her house when she got back, so she took pity on him and let him follow her inside like the lost puppy he was. He was, however, right about his apologies. It was long winded and a tad self deprecating but she let it slide.

 

“You know things aren’t going to go back to how they were, right?” She eventually said as he sat fidgeting in the chair across from her, “I’ve done this twice now, Jon. I’m not going to do this all the time.”

 

“I know… I’ve said what I need to say, and now it’s up to you. If you still want space I can leave again. I’ll stay in touch but you won’t have to see me unless on your terms. Or I can? Stay?” There was a hope in his voice that Georgie, even as angry as she was, couldn’t turn down. He was allowed to stay if he wanted, but he was in charge of dinner.

 

It had taken a while to get to where they were again, but after weeks and months of working at it, the two fell back into each other’s routines. Jon couldn’t understand how he’d been able to live without her, truly. They fit back together perfectly, getting together near daily just to see each other. Most evenings, such as the one that found them now, ended with the two of them huddled together on the couch, Georgie mostly in his lap or Jon leaning his back against her chest.

 

They had finished dinner and had sat together while the light bled from the room around them, Georgie sat in between his legs, his chin resting against her shoulder as they watched some video on her laptop. The Admiral was sleeping on the radiator across the room, the sound of his purring drifting over from across the room just loud enough to be heard over the interview in the video. Jon hid his face in her neck to stifle a yawn, and she turned herself around in his arms to face him properly.

 

“Getting tired?” She asked, voice gentle in a haphazard attempt at not disturbing the quiet that surrounded them. He hummed and pressed his head tiredly into her hand as she raised it to pet lightly at his hair, “We still have dishes to clean, and then we can head off. How does that sound?” He mumbled something a bit too quiet for her to hear, and she lifted his chin up, “What was that?”

 

“Yes that sounds good,” He said just a bit louder, “I’ll have to see when the last train tonight is so that I don’t miss it.”

 

“Don’t be silly.” She laughed gently, making him quirk an eyebrow at her, “I’m not a sadist. You aren’t walking home this late. Not when I know what spooky monsters are after you now.”

 

They hadn’t really talked about  _ them _ yet. They were certainly closer than they had been after the incident with the police, but in a different way than back at university. Back then they were both far too stubborn and always seemed to be fighting about something or other. It would make sense that things were different now. They had both grown up some and experienced a lot. Part of it was definitely to do with Jon only coming out to her once they’d broken up, but now they both seemed a lot more willing to set up and stick to boundaries. He hadn’t stayed the night yet, but he also hadn’t stayed quite this late before and there was no way in  _ hell _ she was going to let him walk home when she knew that there was more than one monster out there who was trying to kill him.

 

Jon was in charge of washing and Georgie drying. They set about their tasks only for Georgie to stop them after a while. She reached over and turned on the cold water, shooting him a look as she did so. The water was steaming enough to fog up his glasses and his skin was red raw with the heat. He looked surprised that she’d noticed.

 

“Your hands, Jon. That’s far too hot-- You’re hurting yourself. If you want the water that hot, I’ll find you some gloves.”

 

“Oh. I wasn’t really thinking about it. Guess it hurt, yeah.”

 

“Are you that tired? We can put these away and do the rest in the morning if you’d like?” She asked more concerned than confused now.

 

“No, it’s not that. It’s part of the whole  _ Archivist _ thing,” He gestured to himself, “I can’t hurt myself anymore. I should know I’ve tried.” He laughed lightly as if making a completely normal joke that wasn’t worrying at all and she reached over to turn the tap off entirely. Trying to stay calm, she took his arms in her hands, shooting him a questioning look before starting to roll up his shirt sleeves, slowly enough that he could stop her if he wanted. His hands were dripping where they were hovering in between them as she ran her fingers lightly up and down his arms looking for new marks. 

 

“Have you been hurting yourself again?” she nearly whispered, trying to be careful with her words but too worried to leave the subject alone. He seemed to have caught up with his words finally and was looking steadfastly in the other direction sheepishly.

 

“I..ah--I’m--uhm.” He worked his mouth, trying to find the right words, “I needed an anchor. Couldn’t hurt myself so I got someone else to do it for me. I bleed still, but they go away almost immediately.”

 

“Where’d you get them to hurt you?” She hummed neutrally, continuing the drag of her fingers on his skin. She rubbed her thumbs in circles on his flesh as she looked up at him, still trying to catch his eye. He pulled his arm from her and placed his hand on his stomach.

 

“I--ah-- I may have...uh… I may have a couple fewer ribs than normal?” He sounded so ashamed that she could cry. She followed his hands, slowly again so that he could pull away, and carefully slid her hands under his sweater. He jumped slightly but relaxed after a moment when he realized she wished him no harm. She pressed lightly around his ribs, looking for any sort of reaction, and when there was only his eyes on hers, she slid her hands around his waist to pull him close. He came easily, burying his face in her neck with a shuddering breath.

 

“You haven’t been taking the best care of yourself, have you…” She said gently, not as a question, but as a statement. He shook his head miserably against her and pulled her closer to him.

 

“What’s one more monster in the world, after all.” He mumbled almost quiet enough for her to miss it. The sharp intake of breath at his statement hadn’t been intentional on her part. They apartment around them was stiflingly quiet in a way that made them feel like the only people in the world. She pulled back sharply, cataloguing the way he flinched when she did so for future reference and placed a hand on his jaw to tilt his head towards hers. She wasn’t too surprised to see how wet his eyes were as they bore into hers from just inches away.

 

“Jon Sims, you have another thing coming if you think I would let anything happen to you, by your hand or anyone else's. Monster or human, I don’t care. As far as I see it you’re still Jon-- you can compel me all you want, but it's the truth. You’re an idiot if you think I could ever let you go now,” She pressed a kiss to each of his cheeks, to his forehead-- it was when she pressed a kiss to his eyelids that she felt the tears on his cheeks. His shaky breath dusted over her neck and she kissed the tear tracks on his cheeks, “I really want to kiss you right now, but you aren’t in the space for it, so now we’re going to leave these dishes for tomorrow, and walk the rest of the way to my room. And then I’m going to cuddle you to death.”

 

“I thought you just said you didn’t want me dead. Going back on your word so soon, Ms. Barker?” He laughed wetly, allowing the light slap to his shoulder at the comment. When the pair fell into bed, Jon was pulled tightly against Georgie’s chest as she played with his hair. He couldn’t remember the last time someone had touched him without the intention of hurting him. It felt nice.

**Author's Note:**

> im on tumblr @crykea and @alicedaisytonner


End file.
